


Force boner

by Neuvoreylogirl



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Boners, Canon Compliant, Crack, Elevator Sex, F/M, pure silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28141533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neuvoreylogirl/pseuds/Neuvoreylogirl
Summary: What would happen if Kylo had a boner in the elevator? Or: the true story of what happened in the turbo lift, in Snoke's throne room, and during the battle of Crait.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 36
Kudos: 105





	Force boner

Kylo Ren’s boner started the second he felt Rey come out of hyperspace.

If he was honest, little Kylo had been restless since they’d touched hands – when he’d gazed into her wet, vulnerable eyes (and her equally wet blouse). When his cold fingers brushed Rey’s fire-warmed flesh…his wretched, cock-blocking uncle had killed the moment. But Rey had sent one last, thrilling thought before the connection died: _hold on I’m coming._

Now Rey was physically here – literally in his orbit. The Force crackled with her presence, sending all kinds of throbs and tingles to body parts Kylo had mostly forgotten about.

As the little space pod – crammed full of luscious Rey – floated into the hanger, Kylo willed his groin to behave. He channeled all his strength into a perfect poker face, making sure to stand directly in front of his stormtrooper escort… just in case.

But he realised his mistake as soon as the pod hissed opened. The cloud of warm mist cleared to reveal Rey’s beautiful face – dewy lips parted – at precisely the level of his crotch. In just one step forward, with one quick unzip of his pants, he could-

He stepped away from Rey without a word. She looked confused, but Kylo forced himself to ignore her – concentrating instead on the time Snoke’s robe had fallen open, revealing his wrinkly torso. And Uncle Luke’s ass crack, unwelcomely displayed to his students whenever the Jedi Master bent over a campfire.

Kylo tried to stay focused on his menu of unsexy memories. But as they walked towards the turbo lifts, he couldn’t help noticing every little detail about her. Rey’s hair was loose around her shoulders, her dark coloured tunic emphasising her soft white skin. Her eyes were somehow bigger, and her lips shiny with gloss. Had Rey made herself up for him? Kylo himself had spent the last 45 minutes in his chambers – showering, combing his hair and agonising over which black tunic to wear (he had seriously considered going shirtless, but sadly realised there was no plausible excuse for it).

As soon as the lift doors closed on them, things got harder – in all senses. Why had Kylo thought handcuffing Rey was a good idea? The blood surged to his groin at the sight of her slender form, hands bound, before him. His cock was painfully hard now, trapped in the hot leather of his pants. He crossed his hands in front of his crotch, holding her lightsaber, and stared fixedly ahead.

Kylo could hear Rey trying to talk to him, but he willed himself to tune out, ignore her. Because if he looked at her it would all be over, so he had to be strong, resist, not give in to-

“Ben?”

Kylo Ren’s head slowly turned of its own accord. Oh shit…

* * *

Rey was relieved Kylo was finally looking at her. He’d been acting weird ever since she arrived, and any attempt to explore his thoughts were met with firm resistance. Thank God, she’d been starting to wonder if she’d made a mistake, if she’d interpreted things all wrong between them.

“When we touched hands, I saw your future,” she began. She’d rehearsed this to herself, earlier. “You will not bow before Snoke!” Rey took a step closer. All his attention, his intense energy, was on her now. Just as it should be.

“You’ll turn.” Another step closer, a quick glance up from lowered lashes (also practiced earlier). “I’ll help you.” One more step closer. “I’ll- OH MY GOD, BEN!!”

Her voice rose to a shriek. Rey had moved that bit closer to him – still at least half a foot away – and felt something hard press against her belly. One glance down confirmed Kylo’s leather pants were straining to contain an enormous – and quite impressive – erection.

Rey leapt backward. “WHAT IS THAT!?” she squawked.

Kylo’s facial expression didn’t change. But behind the poker face he was frantically searching for some kind of suitable response. He ended up blurting out the first thing he could think of.

“It’s my Force boner, Rey.”

“Your….what!?”

“My Force boner.” Kylo spoke with the same calm, slightly patronising tone he always used for her. Rey felt a surge of irritation as he went on, “a boner is when a human male’s pen-”

“I know what a boner is, Ben Solo!” Rey snapped. She couldn’t look him in the eye and was, to her fury, starting to blush. Kylo remained impassive – and rock hard.

“A Force boner is a normal physiological response when a male Force user is in close proximity to a equally Force sensitive female of the same species. It’s an ancient and otherwise meaningless instinctual relic from the past.”

Rey crossed her arms. “Really?”

“It’s true, all of it.”

“So, if I were to look through master Skywalker’s ancient Jedi texts, there would be a chapter on ‘Force boners?’”

Rey made air quotes on the last part and briefly met Kylo’s gaze. She hated how embarrassed this was making her, but not him.

“Yes. I’ve never lied to you, Rey.” He was telling the truth – from a certain point of view. At age 14 Kylo and some other padawans had snuck into Luke’s hut. There had been a couple of texts beneath his uncle’s mattress depicting plenty of Force boners and Force lady parts…although admittedly these probably weren’t the sacred Jedi texts Rey was referring to.

“It doesn’t mean anything Rey, it’s purely the Force choosing to use my instrument as its, um, instrument. And-”

Kylo was cut off by a delicious pressure against his cock, and something warm and wet upon his lips. Rey was kissing him, he realised, was actually pressing her body against his and licking into his mouth. Any pretense at reserve evaporated. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her closer. Returned her kiss hungrily.

“-I love you please marry me,” he gasped when she pulled back.

“A-ha!” Rey exclaimed. Her cheeks were flushed, but her expression stern. “You DO want to have sex with me!”

“Yes please.”

“That wasn’t an offer!”

She pulled away from him, stood tall. “I can’t believe I came all this way to help you return to the light, Ben – as one Force user to another – and you were base enough to assume I was coming here to have sex with you!”

“Rey, please…” The elevator would soon reach the throne room. He couldn’t bring Rey to Snoke like this, not with things unresolved (including his now confirmed non-Force boner). Kylo frantically reached out with the Force to press the emergency stop button, as Rey continued her lecture.

“Is it too much to ask that I be respected as a former adversary, now ally, not as a sex object. Because I can assure you, no such thought ever occurred to me-”

Rey was cut off by the Turbo lift screeching to a halt. She stumbled forward, grabbing Kylo’s arm to break her fall. She landed on her knees, tunic hiked up and wraps askew…to reveal the leggings she wore beneath were not actual leggings at all. The skin-tight fabric on both legs ended mid thigh with a black lace garter. Before she frantically pulled her tunic back down, Kylo glimpsed what he was 99 per cent sure was a suspender belt and red silk panties.

He looked at Rey’s face, then back down to her crotch. Her face, her crotch, her face again. Finally, he spoke.

“So, you came here without any intention or desire to have sex with me.”

Rey blushed, scowled at him.

“Shut up,” she muttered.

Kylo Ren knew what he had to do.

In one swoop he pulled Rey to her feet – and into his arms….

* * *

In the Supremacy’s throne room, Supreme Leader Snoke was impatient. He tapped his long fingernails against the arm rest of his black throne, glaring at the closed turbo lift doors.

“Where is he?” he finally barked. “What’s keeping the idiot boy?”

Kylo Ren’s mind, usually an open book to his master, had been murky since the Jedi girl arrived. Now it was completely shut.

One of his attendants stepped forward. “Supreme Leader, we’re getting reports of an elevator malfunction.”

“Then send a maintenance crew, stop wasting time,” Snoke snapped. His withered brow creased into a frown. Something wasn’t right…

* * *

In the elevator, _everything_ was right, very, very right.

Kylo had Rey against the wall, her legs wrapped around his waist. Her still cuffed hands were looped around his neck, and he could feel her fingers in his hair as they kissed. The soft warmth of her body was heaven, the eagerness of her kiss more than Kylo had ever dreamed. He moaned when Rey’s legs hugged him tighter, shifting herself to grind her little red panties against his cock.

_We can go to my quarters,_ he whispered through the bond. He sent a mental image of his bed, neatly made up with his Darth Vader sheets. Rey responded with something like a snort, and sent back her reply.

_No. Here. Now._

Kylo buried his face in her neck as Rey used the Force to unbutton his pants, finally freeing his long-suffering boner. Supporting them with one arm, he used his free hand to pull aside the damp scrap of silk separating them _there_. She gasped as he pressed inside. Kylo forced himself to go slow, but Rey’s legs yanked him, pushing him deep, to the hilt.

“Ben!” she whined.

“Rey!” he gasped.

“Ah, Sir?” said the maintenance officer above them. He and his crew had opened the emergency hatch in the elevator quite a few minutes ago, but neither Rey nor Kylo had noticed. “We’re here to get you moving again after-”

There was a _clonk_ as the officer’s head hit the floor. Without pausing their lovemaking, Kylo had drawn his lightsaber and reached behind to decapitate the intruder. The remaining maintenance crew wisely closed the hatch, leaving the pair alone.

Pulling back to look into her eyes, Kylo began to thrust. He’d never known anything more exquisite than being inside her. Rey was gazing at him with astonishment – wondering how she’d ever felt complete without this fullness, without the sensation of being _crammed full_.

_I’ve never done this before_. The truth, which she’d had no intention of sharing, spilled from her mind. And almost at once came his response: _me neither_.

They shared a smile before their lips met for another kiss. Both Force users gave themselves the luxury of concentrating only on their own and each other’s pleasure. For once, they tuned out to the events happening around them. So, they didn’t notice the elevator slowly beginning to move, or feel the ripples of panic through the Force, as the remaining Resistance ship slowly turned around to face the Supremacy…

* * *

The turbo lift was rising, but the new maintenance crew (the former had fled after the decapitation incident) were worried. Because the whole car was shaking, rocking back and forth in a rhythmic banging. Clearly, the problem hadn’t been properly seen to

Inside the elevator, the source of the rhythmic banging was ensuring both Rey and Kylo were _most definitely_ being _properly seen to_.

“Yes, yes! Harder!” Rey screamed. She released her hands from the cuffs, desperate to touch and grope at the warm body fucking her. Kylo was a solid barrel of flesh, his hot chest rumbling with hilted gasps of pleasure. He was slamming himself into her, cradling the back of her head with one hand as he repeatedly rattled her body against the iron bars of the elevator.

“Oh God, Ben, I’m close, I’m going to- AAAAAAARGH!”

The screams of Rey’s climax echoed up and down the elevator shaft, deeply worrying the maintenance crew. Her orgasmic wails even reached the throne room, where Snoke was now pacing. He paused at the sound, but also heard the familiar mechanic whine of the approaching elevator. Excellent – Ren and the girl were, finally, almost here.

When the lift doors opened, two significant things happened in quick succession.

First – Kylo came. He exploded with one last, shuddering thrust, sending wave after wave of Ben-Solo-batter deep inside Rey. The shared sensation of his climax pushed Rey into her second orgasm – this time so intense her whole body shook…even her fingertips...it was almost, Rey thought hazily, as though _lightning_ was coming out of hands...

Second – Amilyn Holdo sacrificed herself by hyperspacing the Raddus directly into the Supremacy, sheering it in two. The massive jolt propelled the copulating couple from the elevator deep inside the throne room. Kylo’s lightsaber flew off his belt, bounced on the floor – igniting itself – and sliced the stunned Supreme Leader in half. The eight Praetorian Guards didn’t notice in time to save him: all had turned their heads in disgust at the sight of Kylo Ren and Rey rutting on the floor. They were also too late to notice the orgasmic Force lightning pouring from Rey’s fingers – the legacy of her secret Palpatine heritage. As she rolled around with Kylo on the floor, her quivering hands unknowingly fried each and every guard on the spot.

When Rey’s heartbeat returned to normal, so did her head. Slowly, she began to realise something was wrong. Untangling herself from Kylo, Rey straightened her underwear and looked in shock at the carnage around them. Dead guards, burning tapestries. A wizened alien in a gold robe, cut in half. Fires glowed from outside the windows – the wreckage of the Supremacy, disintegrating before her eyes.

“Was it…did we…” she whispered. Rey didn’t finish. She already knew what had happened. It was the only explanation.

Her and Kylo’s passionate lovemaking had unexpected, catastrophic power. The intensity of their shared climax was so mighty, it had torn the First Order’s most powerful vessel in two.

Tears filled Rey’s eyes. What did this mean for them?! If their coming together meant mass destruction for all in their path? How could she bring Ben back to his mother now, if it meant bringing a literal sex bomb into the Resistance?!

“Ben?” she whispered. Rey couldn’t bear to turn her head to look at him. She didn’t trust herself.

“Mmmm?” came his reply. His voice was barely more than a whisper. Obviously, like her, Kylo was shocked beyond words at the destruction wrought by their passion.

“We did this. It must never happen again.” Rey took a deep breath, wiping tears from her face. “I will always love you and want to be with you, but we both know it’s too dangerous. Goodbye Ben!”

She ran away, bawling, to the throne room’s escape shuttle (assuming Kylo would easily find another). Rey couldn’t risk him begging her to stay, she wouldn’t be strong enough to resist.

As the shuttle doors sealed shut with a hiss, a loud rumbling emanated from Kylo Ren. He wasn’t calling after Rey, in fact, he hadn’t heard any of her speech. The best orgasm of his life had sent Kylo Ren into a deep, blissful sleep. Snoring contentedly, he dreamed of Rey, as the Supremacy burned around him.

* * *

Kylo Ren woke up to find his world had changed.

To begin with, it wasn’t Rey’s face floating before him when he opened his eyes – but that of General Hux. The pale faced general was clutching a blaster, which he quickly put away ( _no doubt intending to kill him in his sleep, the bastard,_ Kylo thought).

“What happened?” Kylo snapped. He stood up, groggy. “Where’s Re- I mean, the scavenger?”

“What happened to our Supreme Leader?” Hux shot back.

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “What did you see before I woke up?”

“Nothing,” Hux said quickly. He had, in fact, arrived to find Kylo Ren bare-assed on the floor, snoring, with his pants around his ankles. As per First Order protocol, it fell to Hux to pull the black leather up over Kylo’s pale, sticky butt cheeks, and zip him back up (the act had been traumatising – the blaster Kylo had seen him holding earlier? Hux was going to use it on himself).

“Snoke’s shuttle is gone, the girl must have taken it,” Hux continued, pushing the memory away to the deepest, darkest parts of his mind.

Kylo froze. Rey was gone? After what they’d shared, the wonderful sex, she’d ditched him?

“There was an assault on the Supremacy. I assume that’s what killed Supreme Leader Snoke?” Hux tried, but failed, to keep the skepticism out of his voice. Snoke’s corpse was cleanly sliced and cauterised by what could only be a lightsaber.

But Kylo barely heard him, over the whirl of heartbreak and growing anger inside. Rey had ditched him AND left him to die on the burning ship!

“The girl murdered Snoke,” he finally said. Kylo’s voice was calm - and cold. “We know where she’s going. Let’s finish this.”

* * *

Everyone in the First Order, and the Resistance, would agree on one thing about the battle of Crait: it felt surprisingly, uncomfortably, personal. The new Supreme Leader had long had a reputation for emotional instability, but his first day in the top job took it to new levels.

“Blow that piece of junk OUT OF THE SKY! Maybe that’ll teach her not to PLAY WITH MEN’S HEARTS!” Kylo Ren was famously heard to scream. And First Order troops on the ground, closely watching the Resistance ship in question, would later swear it had fired into the salty earth to perfectly spell out: _I was faking it._

By the time legendary Jedi Master Luke Skywalker turned up, the Supreme Leader was a mess. Insisting on face-to-face combat, he ranted and shouted and even spat out what sounded like lines of bad poetry. In the end he simply collapsed to his knees, sobbing, while his Uncle hovered awkwardly and finally just disappeared (probably from embarrassment).

Inside the Falcon, Rey was brimming with rage. How could Ben, after their beautiful lovemaking, come after her and her friends like this? She’d figured out by now that it was the late Vice Admiral Holdo, not her and Ben, who had wrecked the Supremacy. Technically they could be together again – but if he thought for a _second_ she would take him back after this…oooh she was angry! And as the surviving Resistance members wandered aboard the Falcon to escape, Rey suddenly knew _exactly_ how to punish him...

* * *

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren stumbled into the abandoned Resistance base, troops behind him. He could feel his men’s mixture of confusion, amusement and pity – along with Hux’s disgust. Kylo realised he hadn’t, perhaps, set the best example of leadership today – he’d let Rey distract him from proving he was a worthy Supreme Leader of the First Order.

Well, there would be no more of that. It was time to forget that callous Jedi _Jezebel,_ to move on-

Wait…. what was that on the floor?

Kylo knelt to investigate – and his heart stopped. It was a pair of red silk panties.

He picked them up with reverence and felt the familiar ripple of a Force connection. Looking up, he saw Rey standing by the open door of the Millennium Falcon. Hope flooded through him. Had she come back to him? Did she want to try again?!

Rey’s expression was cold. And then her lips spread in a smile that was almost…vicious. With one flick of her hand, she pulled up her tunic, revealing the suspender tops and belt and…nothing else. With her panties currently in Kylo’s hand, she was commando. And flaunting it.

Kylo’s eyes grew huge. He whimpered. And then, quick as a flash, Rey hit a button on the wall and closed the Falcon doors. The Force connection ended. Kylo stared after her in disbelief, then down at the panties in his gloved hand.

A few seconds later, they vanished too.

And then, throughout the base, all was silent – except for the loud incessant sobbing of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, echoing throughout the empty chambers.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I regret nothing.
> 
> (except for 'Ben Solo batter'. I'm sorry about that one)


End file.
